Saudi Living: FAQ

We are back for another round of FAQs on our lives in Saudi Arabia. My wife, Robin, and I have enjoyed turning over your questions during the morning commute. Naturally, I know that looking at a phone is dangerous while I am driving, so I’m proud to tell you that I didn’t use my phone. I grabbed paper and pen to take notes instead. Safety first!

FAQ: If the music is too loud in a restaurant, is it okay if I tell the waitress to turn it down, or is that culturally insensitive?

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I know you can’t hear that there is no music in this photograph, so you’ll have to take my word for it. On a side note, I find the serving portions on the smallish side in this country. 

This really would be impossible. You can’t tell the waitress anything at all—mostly because there are no women waitresses in restaurants in the country. All the waitresses are men. Still, you would not ask one of them to turn down the music, not because it would be offensive, but because the restaurants do not play any music at all. I am happy to tell you then, that the music in restaurants here will never be too loud—and, now that I think about it, you will never have to shout over the noise to be heard. It’s quite a nice difference.

FAQ: Is it true that billboards of George Clooney disappear over night? And I mean the whole billboard.

It does happen. Just. like. this. Our route to school this year had just such a billboard mounted atop a huge metal column. George was there every morning to greet us on our way, always smiling that winning smile. He held in his hand a hot cup of expresso, the kind of expresso that only a man with his suave and debonair manner would drink. My wife decided that everyday she would greet him with a “Good Morning, George.” I eventually got into the whole celebrity thing too. Then, one day, boom! He was gone. Right along with the whole billboard, the support beams and the massive steel column too. No one can explain it. So, yes, it happens. Expect it. (Sorry for the lack of a photo. But, in my defense, it did disappear.)

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This is the chair that taunted me–I swear I could hear it sniggering. 

FAQ: If I am ever stuck in IKEA 10 feet away from the chair I just purchased and not be able to get the chair because it is in an employee only area with no employee to get the chair because it is prayer time, how long will I have to wait?

Great question—we’ve had this one a few times already. Answer: about 30 minutes. When prayer times start, employees get to have a break in case they want to go to the nearby mosque to pray. Not all do, but they are given the chance. If your chair has come from the storage area and is just about to cross that magical barrier between where employees are permitted and you aren’t, and the call to prayer starts, that chair will sit there in your view for the next 30 minutes. Instead of getting upset about it, I suggest sitting down and be patient. You can’t really do anything about it anyway. You could even pass the time doing something—I don’t know what, maybe, praying?

FAQ: Should I bring back bacon from Bahrain after a day trip because bacon is not available in Saudi Arabia?

Clearly, no. Bacon is not good for your health. Not only can it clog your arteries and raise your blood pressure, it can increase your border crossing time considerably, especially if the customs officials take an interest in the “sliced meat” package. A friend of mine was delayed in crossing the border because of this exact situation. On the flip side, he did get to meet many of the border crossing officials. They got to chat for a long time about “sliced meat” and other topics, I suppose. (Obviously, I can’t add a photo of bacon, can I?😉 )

Keep those questions coming! We are happy to answer any that we can.

Saudi Living: FAQs

Finally we have gotten enough questions from people to write a full blown blog entry for Frequently Asked Questions about living in Saudi Arabia. If your question isn’t answered here, keep asking. Someone somewhere is bound to know the answer—or willing to make up one to satisfy you.

IMG_2359FAQ: If I am driving from Saudi Arabia to the United Arab Emirates, and I stop at the McDonalds just before the border crossing, how long should I expect to wait for my food?

We have been asked this question so many times. You will wait for at least 30 minutes. Those three Filipino guys are working their hardest in that wasteland near the border, and when everyone, hungry from their journey past nothing but the occasional camel market or burned out vehicle, stops in for some burgers, shakes and fries, it can get a little backed up. Just be patient—and make sure that another person does not accidentally take your food—this will add to your wait time even more.

FAQ: Will I have to go to a communications company multiple times to get a phone up and running?

Yes! Those people at the company love so much interacting with their customers and showing that they’re not “just a company” that they will say just about anything to get you to come back. Why, we went to the store several times in a row with them smiling and saying things like, “The computers are down, come back tomorrow when they will be up and running again, inshallah,” and “The whole system’s down. Come back tomorrow, when it will be up and running again, inshallah.” They were waving and smiling, so we got to smiling and waving too. They just loved to see up stopping by. We got to be frequent guests, until the phones were up and running. Now they just send us messages all the time—“New opportunity!” “New offer!” They are just trying to get us to come by again. Nice people.

FAQ: Should I prepare myself for the hot weather by spending some time in a large oven or hang out in a foundry?

We have known some who found this the best preparation for Saudi’s weather in August. We didn’t though—our home area in the States is short on foundries and ovens large enough to walk around in. We opted for the more convenient preparation of breathing deeply the hot air coming off a car engine running at high rpms during a hot Floridian summer. That said, we have acquaintances who came with no preparation at all. Last time I saw them, they were alive, but really sweaty.

FAQ: Is it true that cars in Saudi will not go when the light turns green unless someone honks his horn?

 

IMG_2330Yes, it’s true! Cars here are apparently fitted with special mechanisms that prevent them from beginning to accelerate unless someone honks their horn. If that light finally turns green and no one honks, we will all just sit there while the intersection remains empty. Fortunately, there are plenty of people who are on the job. No sooner does that light turn green than people lay on the horns. It really gets people going.

Watch for the next installment of FAQs–we have received so many. If you have a question about life here, leave it in the comments below.